Hotwife vs Cuckold
They are not the same thing
All too often I see the terms hotwife and cuckold being used to describe the same activity. Hotwife and cuckold have some fundamental differences.
Hotwife has several different definitions, but the one I think best fits is as follows:
A married woman who has sexual relations with other men with her husband’s approval, with an emphasis on respect. The husband usually watches or joins in the sex.
Cuckold also has several different definitions, but the one I think best fits is as follows:
A man whose wife has sexual relations with other men with his approval, with an emphasis on degrading, humiliating, or otherwise insulting the husband.
Hotwife
A hotwife values her husband and sees him as a superior or an equal in the scenario, whether he participates or only watches. Her sexual partners also view the husband as an equal. The husband is treated with respect. This dynamic is sometimes called Stag and Vixen. The stag husband often vets and chooses the men who have sex with his wife. The husband enjoys seeing his wife perform and seeing her experience sexual pleasure with another man, but he is not forced to only watch. The husband may be near enough to touch his wife while she is having sex or he may join them. He is very much a part of the scenario. A hotwife enjoys performing sexual acts in front of her husband, for her husband. The Stag and Vixen reconnect sexually with each other as soon as possible after she has sex with someone else. Some couples refer to this as reclaiming. This returns their focus to each other.
Some couples use the term bull to describe any man the wife has sex with who is not her husband. Jack and I avoid using the term bull as often as possible. We refer to my sexual partners as thirds or playmates/play partners. Jack has rejected play partners for me because they continuously used the term bull while messaging. For us, and many other couples, the term bull invokes an image of him being superior to the husband. In a Stag and Vixen dynamic the husband is superior to, or at minimum equal to, the other man. The other man is there to provide pleasure to the husband and wife while being respectful to them as a couple. A hotwife dynamic is loving, respectful, ethical non-monogamy.
Cuckold
A cuckold husband may be valued and respected by his wife, but the purpose of her having sex with other men is to humiliate and degrade her husband. The men she has sex with are often referred to as bulls. The husband does not usually choose the bull, but the wife does. Bulls are superior to the husband. The bulls are often younger, have a better body, and have a bigger penis than her husband. The husband is often “forced” to clean her up after sex or clean up the bull if both are open to it. The bull and wife will often tell the husband he cannot make his wife cum like the bull can, has a smaller penis, and other insulting things. The husband is not allowed to join in the sex, but can only watch. The dynamic is designed to make the husband feel like he is an inadequate lover who cannot satisfy his wife. There is a lack of respect for the husband. The husband desires this dynamic and finds satisfaction in it.
Some husbands and wives do not have sex after she has sex with a bull. There is no reclaiming or reconnecting soon afterwards. This intensifies the feeling of the husband not being a good enough lover for his wife. Part of the dynamic may include her rejecting her husband afterwards and forcing him to wait to have sex with her again. All of this is desired by the husband. Cuckolding is also ethical non-monogamy, but lacks the respect that is a vital part of hotwife scenarios.
Take Away
Hotwife and cuckolding are not the same thing. Of course they share similarities, but at the core they are very different.
Both the hotwife and cuckold dynamic involve the wife having sex with men other than her husband. The main difference is how the husband is treated. The husband of a hotwife is treated with respect, viewed as an equal partner in the situation. He enjoys watching his wife experience sexual pleasure with another man. A hotwife husband may watch, participate, and take photos or videos of the encounter. In a cuckold situation the husband is degraded and humiliated. His pleasure derives from watching his wife find sexual pleasure he cannot provide. Cuckolds are excluded from sexual activity while the stag husband may join at any time. A cuckold husband may not be allowed to watch his wife have sex with the bull, but she or the bull may take pictures or video of the encounter for the husband to later see.
Whether you prefer the dynamics of hotwife or cuckold, neither is better than the other. Whatever works for you and your partner is great. Just know there is a difference between the two.
(I use the terms husband and wife because I am a woman married to a man. These terms are completely interchangeable to include any partners of any sex. I do not mean any disrespect to anyone by the terms I use.)
