Meeting For The First Time
Nervous is Normal
Being nervous before meeting a new potential play partner is completely normal. Not only are you meeting someone new, which for some people causes anxiety, you are interviewing each other to decide if you want to have sex. Whether you’re looking for someone to play with long term or for a one and done, feeling nervous is okay. If you don’t feel nervous, that’s okay too. Whatever you feel is normal. Do what you can to calm your nerves, but acceptance is the best route. Accept you are nervous. Also accept you will get through the situation and be okay. Trust me, I speak from experience.
Jack created an account online at one of the adult sites and found my first hotwife partner. When he told me he was doing it, I was incredibly turned on. And then all the things I wanted the man to be went through my head. I wanted to tell Jack what I wanted in a third, what I was interested in, but decided to keep quiet. He’s had a good understanding of me forever, so I decided to trust him and see where it went. I always have the option to say no to someone. But I’m not going to lie: Jack choosing someone to watch me have sex with was really hot! I liked the idea of him picking a man for me.
Jack told me a guy, we’ll call him Bradley, had asked for a meeting. I hadn’t seen a picture yet, so Jack showed me one. He definitely knows me well. Jack chose an older man (65+ years old), which I have a kink for. He was good looking in the pictures I saw so I agreed to meet him.
Nervous
We set the meeting for mid-afternoon the next day, so I had time to think about it and get nervous. I started off as excited nervous, but it escalated to just nervous. The stomach in knots and shaky hands kind of nervous. When I started getting ready is when my nerves were the worse. What to wear?! Sometimes what to wear is the biggest dilemma for a woman. When going for a first meeting, or any time actually, feeling comfortable, confident, and attractive is essential. It helps puts you at ease. When I look good I feel good. Because the place we were meeting was casual I decided to wear shorts and a t-shirt. The t-shirt was white with snaps at the top. It fit well and with the snaps undone opened in a deep v cut. Like most white tops it was see through, so I wore my favorite white bra underneath. I felt comfortable and confident, and Jack said I looked good. My nerves began to settle. When I was ready to go Jack asked if my Lush 2 was charged, so I slid it in right before we left.
Jack teased me with Lush 2 while I drove us over to the restaurant. By the time we got there I was feeling the excited nervous energy instead of nervous knots in my stomach. We got there first and grabbed a table. We’d hoped at that time of day it wouldn’t be crowded, but the place was loud and busy. The kind of conversation we were going to have was not going to be easy in such a loud environment, which made me a little more nervous again. Jack and I sat at the table, snacked on an appetizer, and talked while we waited. Jack could see the parking lot and let me know when Bradley arrived. When he walked in and I saw him for the first time in person I told Jack I liked him. Smiling, Jack reminded me I should always trust him. I laughed. I knew he was right…he would always choose well for me. Jack met Bradley at the door and brought him over to our table.
Meeting Him
Bradley put me at ease quickly. He was friendly, polite, and led most of the conversation. We talked about work, lay some ground rules of what I do not like and will not do, and just talked. I told him I was nervous and asked if he would be okay taking the lead in the situation. He said yes. That was reassuring. Jack told me later Bradley has experience with the hotwife scenario. Knowing that definitely helps calm my nerves going forward. I asked if he was comfortable with Jack participating because some men are not. He said he has no problem with Jack joining in. I did let him know I need to be able to easily see Jack at all times. I know from previous experience in a full swap I need to be able to see Jack, preferably be able to touch him. Bradley seemed understanding and fine with everything.
Honest Minute – Talking about the sex
Let’s be real honest here a minute: the conversation about boundaries and acceptable acts made me nervous, but it is vital! When Bradley asked what I like and do not like I spoke bluntly. This is not the time to be coy or skirt around anything. I told Bradley no anal and no pain, if I didn’t like anything else along the way I’d let him know. If you cannot say outright what is acceptable and what is not, you are making things more difficult for yourself and everyone else involved. Talking to a stranger about sex may not be easy, but is necessary. Whether this happens in person or through messaging, make sure any limits you have are made clear before sexual activity begins. While messaging, Jack had already made it clear our dynamic is hotwife, not cuckold, so respect for us as a couple and towards him is required. Jack says anything that happens sexually between Bradley and I is fine with him, so the physical boundaries are mine to set.
A few minutes alone & saying goodbye
Jack went to the restroom and left us alone for a couple of minutes. Bradley leaned closer while we chatted and held my hand and stroked my arm. He said he wanted me to know what his touch felt like so it would help me relax. He asked what experience we had. When I told him he clarified by asking if I’d had sex with another man. I said yes. He kind of looked like he did not expect that answer. It doesn’t really matter what he thought of my response though. What mattered was honest communication. Jack came back from the restroom and we wrapped things up soon after. We all walked out together. I would liked to have kissed Bradley goodbye, but from where we were standing I could see three people I knew. Jack and I are not willing to put our personal sex life out in the public. Privacy is important to us. What we do and who we do it with stays between us and those we invite to join us. So I settled for a hug and we went our separate ways.
Overall
Overall, it was a good meeting. I learned it is easier to say what I want than I thought it would be. And I learned a bit about what it’s like to have Bradley’s hands on me, which is a plus. And I learned being nervous is just a part of the process.
When Jack and I had sex that night it was great! I knew it would be, but wow! It felt amazing to have Jack inside me while we talked about what might happen with Bradley. That’s one of the benefits of the lifestyle in general; the sex between us has only gotten better.
What comes next
Not knowing what to expect next makes that nervous feeling come back, but I do want to move forward with Bradley. He said he could host us at his house if we were interested. At first we were against the idea, but have warmed up to it. I think going over there and letting things progress a little more naturally would help Jack and I relax more. We know it’s going to be awkward the first time, and have accepted there is no way around it. But maybe being in his home in a relaxed atmosphere will help make everything less awkward.
Honest Minute – The first time
Another moment for honesty: having sex with someone for the first time is always a little awkward. Neither person is exactly sure what the other person wants or likes. You learn as you go. This can make things awkward, but also exciting. Remember the thrill of having sex with someone new for the first time? Hang onto that feeling. It definitely helps calm the nerves. Of course with it being the first time with Jack watching me have sex with someone else makes it different, but it also adds to it. It is sharing a fantasy, a sexy adventure, together. But Jack and I have accepted there will be awkwardness and that is okay. Don’t let fear keep you from something you desire.
