Saying No Thanks
Telling the person who showed up you are not feeling it and do not want to move forward is a major downside of being a hotwife and being in the lifestyle. Saying it is not easy. Just do it as kindly as possible.
I’ve had to tell Jack I wasn’t interested in the man we’d made arrangements with and then tell the man I wasn’t interested after he went to the trouble to meet us. The man, we’ll call him Gary, had contacted Jack through one of the websites. Jack told me about him and showed me a few pictures. Gary checked several boxes for us and seemed to be someone we would enjoy playing with. We all agreed to meet Saturday night. Jack made reservations at a nice hotel out of town and we were really looking forward to having some fun with someone. It had been a month since we played and I was more than ready.
Gary
I liked that Gary is older, in his sixties. My preferences change, but I usually have a kink for older men. There is something about older men that really turns me on! Gary also has a very nice dick. It’s 9”, didn’t appear to be too thin in the pictures, and was very nice to look at. I read the messages between Gary and Jack and he definitely said some interesting things about what he’d like to experience with us. On the surface he was good to go.
We decided to ask Gary to meet us in the hotel bar. Our room had a comfortable living room area off the bedroom and we thought if everyone hit it off like we expected, it would be simple to move things upstairs. Gary sent a message saying he was running a few minutes late. We got drinks and sent a message letting him know where in the bar area we were. He walked in and found us straight away.
Meeting
Gary said hello and shook Jack’s hand then mine. Manners are always a plus. He took a seat and we started talking. It was only a few minutes later that Jack went to the bar to get a drink for Gary and I walked over with him. I already knew there was zero interest on my part. Jack asked me if I could give it some more time and be nice to Gary. I was horrified at the thought I hadn’t been nice and asked Jack if I was rude. He said not at all, just keep being nice. I agreed to give it more time and went back to the table while Jack got the drink.
I talked to Gary and watched Jack. Gary commented on my watching Jack and asked if he needed help. I said no, I just like looking at him. I do really like looking at Jack! With Jack back at the table we continued talking. Gary told us about how he ended up in the lifestyle, about friends of his, and fun stories about things he’d done in life.
Thinking It Over
After a while I excused myself to go outside and vape. Outside I thought things over. Gary didn’t turn me on, but he didn’t turn me off either. I decided to give him more of a chance before saying anything to Jack. Sometimes I’m slow to warm up to someone. When I got back to the table it was Jack’s turn to go outside, leaving Gary and I alone for a few minutes. Gary was fun company, but nothing changed for me. I was not attracted to him.
Telling Jack
When Jack came back Gary went to the restroom. I told Jack that Gary didn’t turn me, but didn’t turn me off either. If he was really into it though we could go ahead. He said the possible situation was a turn on, but he wasn’t really feeling it either. If I wanted to call it off he was fine with it, but I had to tell Gary. That’s how it usually works out for us. Jack takes the lead with our profiles and messaging and I usually take the lead when it’s in person.
Telling Gary
When Gary came back Jack excused himself to use the restroom so I could talk to Gary. How do you tell someone thanks for showing up, but it’s not going to happen? I took a breath and told Gary I didn’t want to be rude, but I just wasn’t feeling it. He said he was so glad I said it first because he wasn’t feeling it either. Gary said he loved my tits, so I gave him a quick flash. He said that made it worth the drive. I laughed. He’d driven about an hour to meet us. Gary explained he had been feeling kind of bland all day and had thought about canceling. A friend of his told him to at least meet us, he may perk up then. I told him I was glad we met and invited him to stay and hang out with us, but he declined. I did mean it. He was fun to talk to and I had enjoyed his company for well over an hour. I just had zero sexual interest in him.
I sent Jack a text saying we’re good, so he knew I’d told Gary. Jack came back to the table and soon after Gary said he was going to head out. He said maybe we could try it again some time and we agreed, but it all came across as just being polite. He shook Jack’s hand, gave me a hug, and left.
Choosing The Words
I’m not going to lie, it was difficult to tell Gary I wasn’t interested. It was awkward. I wasn’t sure what to say or how to say it without possibly hurting his feelings or being rude. Before speaking I thought about my words carefully. I never want to cause any harm or be rude. Honesty is the best choice, but temper it with kindness as much as you can. I did not tell Gary I wasn’t attracted to him, only that I wasn’t feeling it. My choice of words indicated I didn’t feel a connection, which was true. I just left the reason why unspoken since there are many reasons for the connection not being there. It was honest and as kind as I could be.
The lifestyle is about having fun, but telling someone you’re not interested is definitely not fun. It’s awkward and difficult, but must be done. Don’t go forward if you’re not interested. That only leads to regrets and awkwardness during play. No one wants that! Say what needs to be said, but be as kind as you can when saying it.
