Ghosts, Flakes, and Rescheduling
Being a hotwife is fun, but there can be downsides. Dealing with ghosts, flakes, and rescheduling is never fun. Sure, sometimes life happens and you have to reschedule, but making arrangements and not showing up is completely unacceptable. Neither is ghosting someone after time and effort is put in.
Online Presence
I should start off by saying Jack handles almost all of our online profiles and conversations. If messaging moves off the websites or apps and into texting Jack includes me then so I can join the conversation. Jack does tell me about conversations with people. I always read the messages they’ve exchanged before meeting up, sometimes before making the decision to meet. Jack shows me pictures and asks what I think of whoever he is talking to, but for the most part I leave it to him. I’m disappointed when someone flakes. Jack is more than irritated.
Ghosting
Recently Jack was messaging with someone and things looked promising. I was interested in the guy after Jack told me about him. I liked what I saw in the pictures. The guy seemed like he would be a great fit for us and what we were wanting.
On Tuesday evening after work Jack asked if the weekend was good for me and I said yes. I knew he was going to schedule some fun activities with the guy. It was definitely time for a play session. The weekend came around and I asked Jack what our plans were. To my surprise, we had no plans. When Jack sent a message about setting up a date and time the guy never replied. He completely ghosted us. 
I was disappointed we didn’t have plans when I had been looking forward to playing. Jack, however, was ticked off. Jack had spent hours talking to this guy. He had seemed very interested, but when it came time to put words into action he disappeared. I’d rather a guy say he isn’t interested, has plans, or simply changed his mind instead of ghosting. It was a big disappointment since it was our only chance to play for the month.
Just some sexy conversation is fine, but that should be stated from the start. If you changed your mind or aren’t ready yet, say so. Saying nearly anything is better than just disappearing.
If someone ghosts us we block them. We gave ghost guy a week to respond and blocked him.
Flaking
Thankfully, no one has flaked on us, but I do know it happens. I hear about it quite often. People make arrangements to meet and then someone doesn’t show up. Rude!
Many people do not live where they play. We prefer to play out of town. When we make plans it takes effort. We have to find a date and time that works for everyone, which isn’t always easy. Then we have to find a hotel. That takes a little time and costs money. We have to drive to the location. More time and money. When we go out of town it’s a minimum hour and half drive. Since we’re out of town, there’s the added expense of restaurants. It adds up quickly.
For people who host at home there is still the loss of time. Maybe a loss of money if they bought candles, or someone’s favorite food or drink, or whatever for the occasion. If someone doesn’t show up after making plans it is way more than irritating or inconvenient. It is just wrong. Don’t be that person.
Rescheduling
Sometimes things happen and you cannot make it. Everyone understands if there is an emergency or family or whatever. Don’t flake though. Send a message, text, or call and explain. Personally, I think if you have a phone number calling is the best way to handle it.
Unfortunately, we had to reschedule once. I made the phone call and explained the situation. He was very polite and understanding. To ensure he knew we were not flaking we set a new date and time before ending the call. It was a decision Jack and I made before I called. 
Two important things about the call. I called within minutes of us knowing we could not make it. I wanted to try to reduce the inconvenience by giving as much notice as I could. I was also clear we were still very interested. Setting the new date and time was important.
Rescheduling sucks, but is better than flaking.
It’s Supposed to be Fun
It’s playing. Playing is fun. If it’s not fun, what’s the point? Ghosting and flaking are not fun for people on the receiving end. Finding the right person to play with is work. It can take hours of time on websites, apps, and messaging just to arrange one play session.
I love being a hotwife. I love the nervous excitement of meeting someone new. I love the thrill of sex with a new man. I love Jack watching and participating. I love reconnecting with Jack afterwards. I do not love to see Jack frustrated with people who ghost. I do not look forward to someone flaking. And all of this is part of the reason we go to the club. Clubs are easier. You can take action at a club with less effort than finding someone through online avenues. And a hotwife scenario at the club is absolutely possible. I’ll post soon about that. Our first hotwife adventure at the club was a night of a few firsts and so much fun!
