Benefits of Being a Hotwife

Benefits of Being a Hotwife

Several things about being a hotwife were exactly as I expected.  But there have been several things that surprised me.  I did not realize there would be so many benefits of being a hotwife.  Happy surprises that have only been positive and made me want to continue.

Communication

When people ask me about getting started being a hotwife I tell them the most important thing is rock solid communication.  Before starting this adventure we talked and talked.  And talked some more.  We still talk about everything.  I always thought we had great communication, but entering the lifestyle only made it better.  I thought our communication couldn’t get better, so I was surprised by that.

Jack and I can, and do, say anything to each other.  We’ve almost always discussed desires, fantasies, likes and dislikes, hesitations, expectations, and more.  Not just about sex, but about everything in life.  The way we communicate has really changed since we started down the path of sexual adventure.  We put more thought into our words.  We make more effort to be clear about what we mean.  And we truly listen to each other.  It’s a new level of communication that has spread across our whole life, not just the sexual part.

Trust

I trust Jack and he trusts me.  But being a hotwife has increased our trust.  Jack handles all of our online accounts and makes the initial decision of who we move forward with.  At first it was hard to just trust Jack.  I wanted to tell him what I wanted in a play partner, what I was interested in, but I didn’t.  Because I trust him.

That initial trust has led to more.  I trust him to keep our safety in mind.  I trust his screening process.  He trusts me to follow rules and guidelines we’ve set, even in the heat of the moment.

Most importantly, playing with others has only increased the trust we have in our commitment to each other.  At the end of it all, we trust we are going home together.  We trust in the love we have for each other.  We trust in the strength of our relationship.  We trust in our dedication to one another.  There are no doubts each of us is one hundred percent committed to us.

Love

In my research phase before becoming a hotwife I read that playing increases the love spouses have for each other.  I had doubts about that.  I was so wrong!

Something I marvel at is the more turned on I am the more love I have for Jack.  Being with another man makes me love Jack even more.

My emotions are heightened, especially in the moment, but it doesn’t lessen much afterwards.  Every experience we share makes me fall more in love with Jack.

Jack hasn’t said it, so I don’t know if he loves me more since we started playing with other people.  He has become more affectionate, more expressive, and more loving towards me.  Maybe our play times have led him to express the feelings he already had in different ways.  Either way I can definitely say he does not love me less.

Physical

It’s not just my emotions that are heightened when we play, but everything physical is too.  Touches just feel more.  Especially when Jack touches me.

The first time I experienced it I didn’t put thought into it.  It just was.  The physical experience felt really good.  Then it happened again and again.  I started to analyze it.   

One specific instance comes to mind.  A man was on top of me, almost laying on me, and Jack ran his fingers between our bodies over my breast and down my side.  It was one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.  I love the way it feels when Jack touches me.  It doesn’t matter where on my body his hands are, it just feels wonderful.  But the way it feels when he touches me while I’m having sex with another man feels different.  My body seems to be more sensitive.  And my heightened emotions make Jack’s touch feel more intense.

It happens the other way too.  When I’m having sex with Jack and someone else touches me it feels more intense.  Even the slightest touch sends waves of pleasure through my body.  Every sense is heightened and just more.  A major plus of this is I orgasm easier and more often.

Desire & Passion

I have a high sex drive.  Always have.  I love sex.  When we play my sexual desire level rises too.  Sometimes so much that I feel like I cannot get enough.  I want to have sex until I physically cannot anymore.  And lucky me, that’s happened.

But our desire specifically for each other increases.  It is hard to describe.  Even after a sexual encounter that leaves me feeling completely spent and satisfied I have the desire to be with Jack.  Our desire for each other has increased overall.  We have more passion for one another.  An intense sexual love, wanting, and enthusiasm for each other.  It’s absolutely wonderful to experience.

Sex

Playing with other people has led to more sex and better sex between me and Jack.  The reconnecting sex after playing is always amazing.  We’re still riding the high of the experience and we share it with each other.  But our sex life in general has changed.

Dirty talk during sex is different now.  We used to fantasize about me having sex with another man.  It was hot to describe to each other while having sex.  It was hot to play with a toy and imagine it being another man.  Knowing the things we say aren’t just hot fantasies, but can become reality is more exciting.  What we envision seems more real.

Our sex life is different, better, and happens more often.

Honest Minute:

Sometimes our sex is what I call “just us”.  No dirty talk about other people.  No sharing fantasies.  Sex just focused on us enjoying each other.  I thought entering the lifestyle would change that and sex would always be about other people.  Instead I realized sex is always about us.  We have sex with other people because of what it brings to our relationship.  It is always about us, even when I’m having sex with another man.

Benefits Outweigh Any Negatives

Everything that has surprised me about the lifestyle has been a good surprise.  When we started this I wanted to explore, but had some hesitations.  Now my attitude is we don’t know until we try it, so let’s try (almost) everything!  If we don’t like something can we change it so it’s better next time?  Yes – let’s do it again!  No – okay, so now we know.  Mark it off the list and move on.  The benefits far outweigh any negatives.  The lifestyle is an adventure.  Enjoy it – and reap the benefits.