Taking Action
You and your partner have talked and talked and finally decided it’s time for action. Maybe you’ve role played with dildos or just shared fantasies while having sex. No matter what path you’ve taken to make the decision to try a hotwife scenario or swinging, now you’re ready to act on the decision. What do you do now? I recommend going to a swingers club.
Why You Should Go to a Swingers Club
In our experience the club is an easy way to find someone to play with. If you’re looking to swap (soft swap, full swap, same room, separate rooms, or whatever you’re interested in) you can have good luck finding a couple at the club. If you’re looking for a hotwife scenario, go to a club that allows single men in. Single men are usually easy to play with at the club. Not sure you want to play with others, but just dip your toes in? Go to a club. You can just talk to people. You and your partner can play together. Enjoy an environment that’s judgment free and filled with sex positive people.
Jack and I do not need a relationship with the people we play with, just an attraction and basic connection. That’s why the club works for us. It’s okay if we don’t have any common interests beyond sex. We don’t care what their political affiliation is, what they do for work, if they have kids, or anything else. Building a lifelong relationship is not what we’re there for. Sure, that stuff may come up when we’re talking to someone, but none of it is vital to playing. Attraction and basic connection are all we need.
We find people online to play with too, but it’s more difficult. Finding a man or a couple online takes a lot of effort. Those people can be fake, flake out on you, or simply ghost. That’s wasted time and effort. The people at the club showed up already, so they aren’t fakes or flakes. They aren’t going to ghost you. And we love being with like minded people who are simply enjoying all the lifestyle and club has to offer. It’s a win-win for us.
What Kind of Club
If you’re looking for a hotwife scenario, find a club that allows single men in. Most couples find it insulting if you want to play with just half the couple. Some are okay with it, but those couples are fairly uncommon.
If you are looking to swap and don’t want to deal with single men, choose a club that does not allow single men. Or go when it is couples only. If you’re looking for a female third, but not a single man, find a club that allows the women in. Most clubs do. Be warned, a single female in the lifestyle is called a unicorn for a reason. They are rare and can be very selective about who they play with.
Honest Minute:
Jack and I have talked about expectations at the club. The only expectation either of us has is to have sex with each other. If we find someone or a couple to play with, great. If not, it’s still great. We enjoy each other very much. For us part of going to the club is the atmosphere, the environment. The sex positive vibe of the place, the like-minded people are a big part of what makes the club enjoyable even if we don’t play with anyone else. Going with no expectations means we’re open to so many options and we always have a great time.
Choose a Swingers Club
Choose a city and then do your research.
Everyone has their own criteria for choosing a club. I will not tell you what should influence your decision. I can only tell you how we decided on a club for our first visit ever.
When we decided to take action we knew two things: we did not want to play where we live and there are no clubs in nearby cities. We really like going to Las Vegas, so we started looking for swingers clubs there. Las Vegas is only a few hours away, so it’s not inconvenient to go either.
We started with a general online search of swingers club in Vegas and narrowed it down. We researched a few places and decided to try the Red Rooster. Like every place, there were mixed reviews, but there were more positive reviews than negatives. Jack considered the Red Rooster was easily accessible by Uber or taxi (we knew we would not be driving to the club). We also wanted a place that allowed alcohol. While we don’t get drunk at the club, we want the option to have a drink or two if we want. The reviews made it seem like it was a no pressure place and welcoming of first timers. Also, everyone is welcome. No interviews or membership fees. I liked the options of the couples only area, private rooms with locking doors, and the voyeur/group room. We both liked the recommended donation for entrance.
When we were making a decision where to go first we also watched any YouTube videos we could find about a place and looked at photos online. It helped a lot.
Also try to do some research on the best night to go. We prefer Friday or Saturday nights because more people are there. More people means more options. We’ve gone to the club on a weeknight and successfully found someone to play with too though. It all depends on whether you want to be around a lot of people or prefer a smaller crown.
You Chose a Place – Now What?
It’s simple. You just go. All you have to do is walk in. No one is going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. You can leave any time you want to.
Questions have been asked about clubs that say the doors lock at a certain time. That only means no one enters after that time. You’re not a hostage for the night. You are still free to leave whenever you choose.
Hotwife at the Club
I think most people don’t think a hotwife scenario can happen at the club, but it can! Obviously a club that allows single men to attend is best for this.
Our first hotwife scenario at the club was actually easy and simple. A man approached us, asked if he could sit down, and we started talking. Soon things were progressing and the three of us found a private room.
We went into the private room. Jack locked the door and stood where he could see everything, but was not part of our interactions. The man and I picked up where we left off. When we got on the bed Jack stood by the bed where I could see him if I turned my head. He eventually ended up in the bed with us and joined the fun. That is generally how I prefer it. I like when Jack watches, but I really like when he joins in.
We have never talked to a man about a hotwife scenario at the club before going into a private room. There is no need for it. In my experience, unless you want something specific to happen, there is no need to explain anything. Everyone involved is there to play. Most men are fine with having sex with me whether Jack joins in or is simply present in the room. Jack just watching has never been an issue.
Finding a Couple
Finding a couple to play with at the club can take a little effort, but it’s not too difficult. Talk to people. You won’t have sex with every person you talk to, but you won’t have sex with anyone if you don’t talk at all.
Mingle. Smile. Talk. Have fun.
The couples who talk to others instead of just being wallflowers are the ones who get to play.
If talking to people makes you uncomfortable there are other options. At Red Rooster we go in the couples only area and have fun together. Other couples have asked to join us. There’s always the option of asking a couple if we can join them, but we’ve never done that. We would, just haven’t. Or we go in the voyeur/group room. Couples will ask if they can join in there too, or offer some fun in a private room. So will single men.
The most important thing though is to be approachable. The couples who give off “stay away” vibes don’t get approached to play.
A Couple of Notes
Whether you want to play with another couple or are looking for a hotwife scenario the rules are the same. Mingle. Smile. Talk. Have fun. Be approachable.
If there is something specific you don’t want to do you can say so upfront before playing. Or you can just go with the flow and speak up in the moment. Either option is fine. If you only want a soft swap, I recommend stating that from the start though. Personally, I prefer to just keep it simple and go with the flow. If a man starts to do something I don’t want I just say something then. I’ve never had a problem. And no man has ever done anything I don’t want once I spoke up.
Remember no means no. You can say no. Someone can say no to you. No is part of playing, whether swinging or being a hotwife.
Go. Have fun. Enjoy.
